Another year draws to a close, and I once again find myself in this ethereal space of annual reflection as the final minutes of 2024 go by. If my 2023 was all about the virtue of patience, then I think my 2024 was embodied by enjoying the present - living in the moment as much as I could, for better or worse.
Having willingly signed away my financial future and joined the terrifyingly normalised practice of living with triple-figure debt hanging over my head for the rest of my life (a very long-winded and perhaps somewhat pessimistic way of saying that I bought a flat last year), I was initially stumped at the start of this year. My imaginary ticklist of life ambitions that vaguely formed, as it does for many people, during my pre-teens had been completed - the journey that started with my educational career, alongside the hurdles and trials of early adulthood, had all been achieved. School, sixth form, driving lessons, moving out, getting a job, getting onto the property ladder. Tick. OK, so... Now what? This thought permeated my mind for much of January and February. I had a new home to call my own - sure - but I think I'd spent so long saving up for that moment, both financially and mentally, that I hadn't given what happens next any thought. At all. It had forever been the last item on an imaginary to-do list - and now that list was completed. All that remained was the vast expanse of... the rest of my life... that stared back at me, and I was paralysed by indecision and overwhelm.
I'd like to thank my wonderful friend Adam for being the catalyst that shook me out of this state - the advice he gave might sound obvious, but I was so dumbfounded and existentially confused by the lack of a list of long-term goals that I had forgotten a very simple idea. I asked him, "What do I do now?", on one of our evening drives, to which he told me - simply - to enjoy myself. I'd worked hard to get to where I was, so now it was time to kick back a little and reap the rewards. Oh yeah, of course! And so, it began. I endeavoured to not worry about any long-term goals for a while, and simply enjoy each day as it came. To truly celebrate and enjoy where I had got to, and to make the most of it.
In tandem to this course being charted, I was also re-evaluating my relationship with the internet. Maybe you've read my solitary blog post for 2024 on this - if you haven't, I'd recommend jumping over and giving it a read now. The long story short is that the internet has fundamentally been reshaped, slowly but surely, over the course of the last two decades, into something fundamentally different than what I, and most of us, signed up for. It's absolutely still got its uses, such as hosting consistently-underused introspective blogs, but the way that so many apps and services have morphed into algorithm-driven engagement farms that desperately crave your every waking moment has become too much for me. Simply put, it's a waste of my time. One day I became suddenly very aware of how much of my time I was unwittingly submitting to the likes of Instagram and Facebook, so I decided to uninstall them from my phone. In the case of Instagram, I actually deactivated my account entirely, and after just shy of a year without it, I can sincerely say that I do not miss it. I'd somehow managed to get caught up in the constant desire to take photos to broadcast to the world that whatever I was doing was somehow important and noteworthy through Instagram Stories (if you don't have Instagram, insert your appropriate social media platform of choice's equivalent - Facebook Reels, Snapchat Stories, Tiktok...moments? I'm old now, I don't know what they're called). Instead of trying to performatively prove to a vague and unspecified "audience" that my life is interesting, I decided to hone in on the only person that really cares if my life is interesting and fulfilling; the guy writing this blog. And, to my surprise, I still felt compelled to take photos. Only this time, they weren't taken with the vague and undefined intent of adding to the endless pile of "check out what your friends are doing!" - instead, they were taken with the singular intent of capturing a moment or scene that I wanted to cherish and admire. And if I really wanted to share these moments with people, I sent the photos directly to them, or better yet, ordered prints of said photos for them. I wanted to make the act of sharing meaningful, deliberate and targeted, rather than vague or performative. And, as a result, I have ended up having more substantial catch-up conversations with people who have asked what I have been up to without already having seen a surface-level highlight reel online beforehand. I've handed out physical photographs and reminisced with family and friends, and I've found myself looking back through my own photos simply for the feelings that they evoke. I've enjoyed this more deliberate and thoughtful approach to taking and sharing photos, and, if by some small chance you're pining to see what photos I did take this year, they're still crammed into the bottom of this post in a wonderful collage of sorts, as usual.
The next element of my plan to simply enjoy myself was adventure. This year I made the very long overdue trip to the airport, taking my first holiday abroad in over four years, to Thailand. In an absolutely jam-packed two week trip, five of us stayed in four different locations across the country - Bangkok, Ayutthaya, Khao Sam Roi Yot National Park, and the resort island of Koh Samui. We managed to pack in an incredible blend of urban culture, history, nights out, natural beauty, rural villages and traditional holiday relaxation into our packed schedule, and it was a reminder that there is still novelty and wonder to be found out in the world. I often feel like I've become so familiar with my routines and my habits that I deprive myself of true surprise or wonder in the way that you feel as a child. My trip to Thailand was an exercise in reconnecting with that feeling - every day was densely packed with back-to-back moments of wonder, awe and joy. From a precarious tuktuk ride through bustling streets, a trek up a mountain to discover an enormous cave, to spotting wild elephants in the national park on the back of a land rover - these are memories and moments that will stick with me for the rest of my life, and managed to inject an enormous feeling of invigoration back into my life. Of course, Thailand was the crown jewel in my adventures this year, but it was by no means the only one. Other highlights this year included:
A camping trip on a Spring weekend in one of the wettest years on record where we managed to miraculously avoid rain almost entirely. We were instead blessed with glorious sun for the whole weekend, enjoying walks to the Rollright Stones and local pubs ⛺
A city break to Manchester, where we visited Europe's largest arcade, explored the geeky Northern Quarter and sang along to songs in a 1920s-themed bar 🍸
A lovely long weekend in Swansea, exploring the Gower, an area of local outstanding natural beauty, and wandering to the beautiful nearby town of Mumbles for ice cream and beers in the sun 💞
A trip up to the Peak District for a weekend comprised of hikes, nights out, a great video game museum, catching up with friends and eating like kings (thanks Dan! 🙏)
A wonderful family holiday to our spiritual second home of St. Ives in Cornwall. Trips to Saint Michael's Mount, a local cider farm, coastal walks and plenty of pubs and great company. And...getting lost on a costal walk, and eventually getting back to the Sloop for the world's most deserved pints of Rattler! 🍺
Great day trips to Leamington Spa, Cambridge and Sheffield, as well as countless outings in Oxford and London, from the annual pilgrimage to EGX gaming Expo, to cheering Tom on at the London Marathon 🏃♂️
Another avenue I've tried to pursue a little this year is to push myself out of my comfort zone more, and to try new things. I'm blessed to have the most wonderful friends and family in the world, and as a result I scarcely find myself in need of meeting new people. However, I think it's a novel and useful thing to be able to do, getting out there and doing things with strangers; so I have ended up going to events on my own such as Dungeons & Dragons at my local boardgame cafe, and a Magic: the Gathering draft evening at HMV, not knowing a single other soul there. Were they terrifying? Yep. Were they worthwhile experiences that I enjoyed, and am glad that I did? Yep. I even completed the holy trifecta of nerdiness and walked into a Warhammer shop, got chatting to the very friendly staff there and picked up a few 40K Space Marines, which I subseqeuntly painted. And I intend to go back and show the nice man in the store photos of my creations, so that I can... collect stamps or something. I'm not entiely sure what the deal is yet with Warhammer but I'm enjoying it. And it's definitely not a cult. On a similar but different note to the wonder of Thailand - new hobbies are recapturing that feeling of novelty and wonder. As well as painting my 40K Marines, I've painted a few D&D miniatures this year in cosy painting sessions with my friends, which has been a really nice way to spend winter evenings.
On that note, I have equally tried to just enjoy my downtime more this year. Not doing anything in particular - just existing. Enjoying my own company, my flat, my thoughts. And, at the end of my reflections on 2023, I said "I have a place to call my own, and I will fill it with food and cheer and song." I have indeed stayed true to this aim, and filled it with food and cheer as often as I can spare. I'm loving being able to host for pals, and I've done all I can to make the space cosy and welcoming. I've got into candles and vinyl records. Combine those with the miniature painting and... well, I'm old now. Not just in my choice of activities, but also because 2024 also marked a big milestone for myself and a number of my friends. The big three-oh. The first birthday since 21 to be particularly noteworthy, I suppose, and one that I was dreading somewhat. I think that being "in your twenties" has been something of a crutch to be relied upon when measuring your life's progress thus far. I'd already been overusing the notion that I was in my "mid-twenties" for a couple of years, and it was time to face the facts. In October, my "twenties crutch" was no longer there for me to lean on, and for a moment I thought I might just collapse and fall down. But I didn't. I took a look around me at the life that I have made for myself, and I thought, yeah... 30 is gonna be all right. I think if pre-teen Elliott, with his list of life ambitions in-hand, saw where I am, he'd be all right with that. 30 is cool. 30 is getting excited about new socks. 30 is enjoying that extra 10 minutes in bed when you snooze the alarm. 30 is deciding that, actually, you do already have food at home, and that it is worth the effort of cooking yourself a delicious meal. 30 is getting home from work and enjoying doing nothing every once in a while. 30 is being surrounded by the best people in the world.
At the end of every year I think: "Damn, it's over already?!" And then, every year, I take the time to really reflect upon everything that I did, everyone I met, everywhere I went, and suddenly; it all adds up. The math checks out, as they say. Ah yes, it turns out that I did indeed experience a full year this year. Fine, let's bring 2025 up to the stage. Enjoy the last few moments of 2024 folks, and thank you to everyone who made mine one of the best years of my life; it's definitely in the top 30. You all know who you are 💖
This year's collage of photos is absolutely gargantuan, but I guess that's what happens when you're having a great time. And also what happens when you delete Instagram.
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